I Don't React. I Pray and Pivot.

I woke up feeling sad today. My mood—a weary blue—with sleep calling me from within. I felt faint and sick, but I pushed through my morning prayers and sat with my Bible as I did my meditations. A meditation that reminded me of how much I am lacking and how much I am nothing. I knew it wasn't God's voice, but I still acknowledged my failures and all the time I've wasted and took note of my lack of stewardship over the years and how all of these things affected my outcome. Though the voice raged at me in the private places of my mind, I highlighted God's grace that made it okay for me to cry. I could have done better, for sure—there's no debating that—but I also could've done worse with the starting point that I had. And the support I had? Well, in most cases, there was none.

I took note of the consequences of my actions and lack thereof. If only I had done this or that. If only I had not done this and not done that. One thing is certain: I have come a far way and fought through many challenges—but only when the children came, when I had no choice. Before that, I could give up easily, like I did in university. University was a place where I was always hungry and plagued by tension headaches and gastric issues. Stress and overwhelm had consumed me. I could have fought to stay, fought to finish—it was my final year—but I didn’t. I gave up. I stayed in bed all day and cried. I had become a fraction of myself, and I didn’t know how to become whole. I had no clue what step to take to change my life.

I still don't really know, so I am doing everything I can because I know now that once time goes, you can never get it back. So spend your time wisely. I know God rewards the faithful and the loyal and loves His people to have ambition. So dream, set goals, and take care of what you have—and that includes time, talent, and the people around you.

Pray and study the Word so that you can be armed against mind disturbances in your alone time, meditation, and devotions. The enemy knows where it hurts, and he's not afraid to poke it.

Don’t be afraid. Though fear can be a weapon, wield it to propel you forward by telling yourself that you cannot and must not fail. Use it. Use that rage to make you ravenous for a calm and joyous future.

Even if you feel you can't, give it to God—because whatever the enemy meant for evil, God can turn it around for your good.

P.S. Stop reacting to everything, especially the seeds the enemy of your life tries to plant. Instead, pray and pivot.

I love you with the love of Christ. 🫂

Faith, Resilience, Spiritual Warfare, Healing, Grace, Overcoming Procrastination, Redemption through Christ, Intentional Living, Struggling and Suffering, Prayer, Purpose, Worship, Devotion, Fasting,