It Has Begun...I Mean, It Continues!

Not quite the perfect start I was hoping for, but a start no less and a damn good one too! I have made this vow to myself before, time and time again actually. There were times when I started and failed and there were times the intention was just that; a thought with absolutely no action. And just like that I am 37and my life is a mundane routine of responsibilities and roles I never wanted. God has been good though. He's heard my prayers even though in the moments I cried out I was sure he didn't.

The past 36 years has been a lot of hell. There's so much I wanted to do but never had the discipline to get them done. I want so much more now and I am ready to do what it takes to steward my dreams. My mind is alive with colour (yes I spelled color with a "u", come off it man!) and I see stories on every blank surface like a hapless madman. This must be what it feels like to come out of a coma, to emerge from a darkness that was the shell of your existence. A shell that seemed so comfortable even though it echoed nothingness.

Yesterday I ceased the day. I got up. I prayed. I read, I found new love for the Word, I praised and I worshipped and I ushered in the newness that I sat far admiring for so long. A newness I never thought I could have, a newness I never felt worthy of. I wanted to paint and draw and write and I named every desire I held but never seemed capable of honing. I was clear headed, unafraid, shameless and dutiful and when the night came I slept like a child. 

Today, I did it again. I sat with my thoughts but not for too long because there's so much I was to do now and so much I want to be, and even if I end the day feeling as tired and swollen as I did yesterday, it will be worth it, definitely worth it.

That's it then, I have decided that I will do it all again tomorrow, but just like today I will challenge myself and add something new. I intend to be a brute about everything I put my hands to. Yes, I will be a BEAST about my values, my morals, my passions, my dreams, my goals and my future, because beasts stay hungry, beast stay savage, beasts are relentless, beast are obsessed with the hunt and never let their prey out of their sights. 

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