PROXIMITY TO JESUS IS NOT THE SAME AS INTIMACY WITH HIM

 

Proximity Is Not Intimacy

Many walked beside Jesus.  

Few truly knew Him.

Proximity is physical. Intimacy is spiritual. It's connection. It is knowing God for yourself and if you want to get a little deeper--within yourself! 

One can stand in the crowd, hear the parables, witness the miracles—and still miss the heart of the Messiah. Just like Judas did and that is why the posture of a mans heart was a topic of concern for our Lord. Remember the word of God says that where your treasure is, your heart will be also. It is a call to focus and to reaffirm. A call to keep your eyes fixed of Christ so that you do not sink in the wallows of the world. 

Peter didn't walk on water because Jesus gave him some magical ability to do so. He did it because he trusted Christ and kept his focus on the Savior and not the storm. 

📖 “These people honor me with their lips, but their hearts are far from me.” —Matthew 15:8

This verse pierces the illusion: being near Jesus in speech or ritual with no closeness in spirit. The Pharisees were devout in practice, yet distant in relationship. They stood in proximity but lacked connection.

🧍🏽‍♂️ The Crowd vs. the Inner Circle

Thousands followed Jesus. They pressed in to touch Him, to hear Him, to be healed. But only a few were invited into deeper communion. He never forced a connection. He invited it and with devotion and time they were able to deepen that connection into intimacy. 

- Mark 3:14 — “He appointed twelve… that they might be with Him and that He might send them out to preach.”  

  → The twelve were chosen not just to serve, but to be with Him. 

Intimacy preceded assignment.

- Luke 10:39 — “Mary sat at the Lord’s feet, listening to what He said.”  

  → Mary chose intimacy. Martha chose proximity through service. Jesus honored Mary’s posture.

While not a bad thing, her heart and mind was preoccupied with other things, the superficial that did not carry the weight of emotional connection. Her duties left no room for the desire God had to touch her heart and connect with her. 

🕯️ Judas: The Tragedy of Proximity Without Intimacy

Judas walked with Jesus.  

He heard the parables, saw the miracles, broke bread with the Messiah.  

He kissed the face of God—and still chose silver over surrender.

- Matthew 26:48–49 — “Now the betrayer had arranged a signal with them: ‘The one I kiss is the man; arrest him.’ Going at once to Jesus, Judas said, ‘Greetings, Rabbi!’ and kissed him.”

The kiss was a facade.  

A gesture of affection masking a heart already sold. A heart already given over to the desires of his flesh. 

Judas didn’t just betray Jesus—he betrayed the intimacy that could have saved him.

🔍 The Mask of Ministry

Judas held a trusted role. He managed the disciples’ finances. He was part of the twelve.  

But Scripture reveals the fracture beneath the surface:

- John 12:6 — “He did not say this because he cared about the poor but because he was a thief; as keeper of the money bag, he used to help himself to what was put into it.”

Judas wore the robe of a disciple, but his heart was tethered to his greed.  

He walked beside Jesus, yet never walked with Him in spirit.

Even at the Last Supper, when Jesus said, “One of you will betray me,” the disciples were sorrowful. Judas, too, asked, “Surely not I, Rabbi?” (Matthew 26:25).  

Not Lord, but Rabbi.  

He acknowledged Jesus’ wisdom, but not His divinity, not His sovereignty, not as his savior.

🌿 The Tragedy of Hollow Remorse

After the betrayal, Judas was seized with regret.  

But remorse is not repentance.

- Matthew 27:3–5 — “When Judas… saw that Jesus was condemned, he was seized with remorse… So Judas threw the money into the temple and left. Then he went away and hanged himself.”

He returned the silver, but never returned to the Savior.  

He confessed his sin to the priests, but not to the One who could actually forgive him.

🔥 Intimacy Is Not Earned. You can't buy or seize its access. Intimacy is grown and nurtured over time. You can be intimate with someone without ever having intimacy because you do intimate things with them--that doesn't foster an intimate relationship. The intimacy is about the connection, commitment, consistency and communication. It is where you've grown close to someone, taken the time to know them and look at them because you desire to truly see them and the way you foster that connection cannot be fabricated, forced or rushed. 

Judas had access. He had proximity. But he never had intimacy.

Contrast this with John, the beloved disciple, who leaned on Jesus’ chest at supper (John 13:23).  

John didn’t just follow Jesus—he abided in Him.  

He stayed at the cross. He received the care of Jesus’ mother. He wrote of love.

Judas ran away, condemned by his own shame and guilt--and though it had to happen to complete the process of Christ saving us from hell, death and the grave. 

John's connection remained. Not diminished. He cried at His Savior's pain. He loved him. And Christ also loved him. 

🕊️ The Invitation to Abide

Jesus didn’t call us to merely follow at a distance. He called us to abide.

- John 15:4 — “Remain in me, as I also remain in you. No branch can bear fruit by itself; it must remain in the vine.”  

  → Intimacy is sustained connection. It’s not occasional nearness—it’s rooted presence.

- James 4:8 — “Draw near to God, and He will draw near to you.”  

  → The invitation is mutual. Intimacy is a pursuit, not a default. You don't click a button and the feature is automatically added. 

- Psalm 25:14 — “The secret of the Lord is with those who fear Him, and He will show them His covenant.”  

  → Secrets are shared with someone you trust, your close friend, your alli, the one you share an intimate relationship with, not with crowds and certainly not with acquaintances or someone random that you sit next to on the bus everyday. 

🪶 Final Reflection: Let the Kiss Be Real

Let our worship not be a kiss of betrayal.  

Let our service not be a mask for ambition.  

Let our nearness to Jesus be marked by surrender, not performance.

Proximity may impress the crowd [until. it is exposed for what it is]. Intimacy transforms the soul because the connection actually touches that deep.

Let us be like Mary, who poured out her perfume and her tears.  

Like John, who stayed through the suffering.  

Like Peter, who failed—but returned.

Let us not be like Judas, who kissed the Savior but never had any intention of knowing Him.

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