When the Floor Gives Way | It'll Be Okay



I don’t have any encouraging words today.  

And maybe that’s okay.

This morning, I woke up expectant. I had been waiting patiently for my salary, trusting that it would come through. I’ve been on a prayer, Bible study and fasting mission for the past two weeks—seeking God, weeping before Him, receiving revelation after revelation. I truly believed I was stepping into breakthrough.

Instead, I was told—just moments ago—that I won’t be paid this month.

Almost wo months ago, they accidentally paid me twice. I saw it immediately and told them. I didn’t hide it. I didn’t misuse it. I assumed they’d sort it out, since it was their mistake. I trusted the system. I trusted the people. Trusted that they would tell me when they would withhold pay in lue of the error. 

But today, without warning, they decided to do a kick back.  

No heads-up. No courtesy. No time to prepare.  

Just silence until now. In-fact if I hadn't sent a memo about not seeing my pay posted to my account. Nothing would've been said. 

I had already used most of that money last month to buy back-to-school items. The rest I used for food. I was trying to be responsible. Trying to stay ahead. Trying to trust. And now I can’t pay my bills. I can’t pay my rent. I can’t buy food. I can’t even buy drinking water.

I got an instant headache. My body started shaking. Every bone and cell in me went into panic.  

I am dumbfounded.  

I don’t even have words.

They could’ve said, “Hey, based on the overpayment, we’ll be deducting your salary on [date]. Please prepare.”  

But they didn’t.  

They waited.  

And now I’m left scrambling, stunned, and speechless.

I realize now—I need a new job.  

I will start looking.  

That’s it. There's nothing else. I can't keep going through this. 

I don’t have any encouraging words today.  

I am tired.  

I am sigh.

I haven’t even finished back-to-school preparations.  

I don’t know what to do.  

I don’t know how to move forward.  

Almighty One, come now.  

Come quick.  

Jesus, have mercy.  

Come, Lord Jesus.  

Please. Help Me. Show up in this time God and show up suddenly. 


A Prayer for When Words Fail:

Lord, I don’t have eloquence today

I don’t have strength today. I don’t have clarity today. I have need. I have desperation. I have faith—a hope that's dim, but still. You see me.You know what I need before I speak. You know the panic in my body, the ache in my chest, the silence in my spirit. I’m not asking for answers right now. I’m asking for your presence in the pain. In the darkness that is closing in. In the pressure increased in my head. 

I trust You, even when I don’t understand.  

I wait for You, even when I feel abandoned. 

I call on You, even when I can’t find the words. When my shouts echo against a vacancy that only panic seems to fill. It's because of who you are God and because I know you are God. You see everything. Hidden and exposed. You are a God that never fails, whose word can never go back to Him void. Quiet my heart and still my mind. Come, Lord Jesus. Show up mighty God. Have mercy. In Jesus Christ name. Amen.


Scripture for the Shaken Soul

 “The Lord is near to t he brokenhearted and saves those who are crushed in spirit.”  

 — Psalm 34:18


Tidbits:

I wrote this yesterday but at the time the emotions were still pressing heavy on my heart. This morning I woke up with the same angst but still determined to fight and press forward.

I thank God even in the midst of this and some might call me foolish, but the gutters and brink of death where God has pulled me from tells me that he can turn anything around.

Until things turn around I will walk as someone who believes and knows that all things are working together for my good.

Financial Hardship, Spiritual Warfare, Emotional Vulnerability, Prayer and Fasting, Trusting God in Crisis, Broken but Faithful, Psalm 34:18,

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